morning lights;

Haven't been updating since the last one cause I went for the Prefects' Camp over the weekend. I promise I'll post on it after the exams (though that is a long, long time from now). But to say it in just a few words, it was awesome although there were some unwanted incidents. I'm just thankful that everyone's fine and no one got hurt. =)

Anyway, the pressure of the upcoming exams is really starting to kick in. And I have not studied. And no, I'm not kidding. I am so screwed.

And I keep wondering why I always pull back and am resentful of hurting the feelings of others but in the end, it's really only me that gets hurt. Me who goes around walking like a zombie. Me who refuses to join in when all others are laughing. Me who watches from afar and feels that pang inside. Me who feels like a bitch but also me in the end who feels everything come back at me and smack me right in the face.

I wish things were simpler.
All this just because of you.
It's hard to ignore the fact.
It had always been about you.
It is always about you.
And it probably will always be about you.

I wish it wasn't so hard to believe.
People say you, on the other hand, are not alright. I wanted to take your hand and say I'm sorry. But the action just would not come about.
But when I talk to you, you seem almost perfectly alright. A perfect contradiction. So like I said, I end up watching you from the other side of the room being alright and laughing while I stand on the other side, blank and tired.
Like I said, it comes back and smacks me right in the face.



My heart can't possibly break,
When it wasn't even whole to start with.