The long ordeal was finally over. Somehow the feeling became numb. It was funny how the so many words of emotion that wanted to be said suddenly got compressed to only a minimal number of words. The human mind. Pfft.
Leo heads for the bathroom. It is late and he needs the sleep. Opening the tap, he washes his hands slowly only to finally look up to see his reflection staring back at him. He thinks of himself as nothing special. Just completely ordinary. Just any other guy. Suddenly, he can't stand himself. Placing his head in his hands, he cries all over again, staining his fair cheeks with clouds of red. So what that he is a guy? No one could see. No one would fucking care.
Really, what is the point of living?
Through his blurred vision from his tears, the big word "ANTISEPTIC" on the mouthwash bottle stares back at him. Images enter his mind; pictures of him gulping down the entire bottle of blue liquid. Could mouthwash actually kill a person? Was it possible? Funnier how he probably got the idea from, well. It.
Slowly lifting the bottle to his lips, the blue liquid trembled inside of it as though to show fear of what was to become. Fresh tears wet his cheeks. He knows he isn't going to do it. It was really just for the feeling of it.
The numbness returns. His heart feels cold. Empty. In the state of denial?
He knows before he falls asleep into bed tonight, he'll tell God that he's sorry. He'll tell God to be his only hope left and messenger.
I love you.
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