morning lights;

The interview's over! Got to Taylor's at about 8.30 a.m. and guess what. With me being famous of the world's most rotten luck, my interview wasn't until like 1 P.M. By then, the afternoon session batch a.k.a. Kye Li, Mel, Aly, Chan and even Ian was there already. Sheesh. And poor mum was so bored. ;(

I got Miss Prema as my interviewer and she's the Deputy Director for SAM. So, lucky me? I got the person who's practically in charge of the pre-U course I'm gonna take in future. The interview was okaaaayy I think. But the questions she asked, it made me feel like I was seriously underachieved. =s Like she expected a LOT from me. She asked me like, did I organise any big events and events that are like outside small societies like the Prefectorial Board and blablablaaa. I was likee.. erm... No.... Gah. The fact that were 106 candidates in just my session alone is not comforting at all. Bleh.

Anyways, congrats to those who got the SASA scholarships! Kye Li, Aly, Chan, Xin Yi, Wei Gin, well done and great job. =)


Today made me realise the reality of life after high school. I can't imagine how it would be like going to college and taking up an entirely new syllabus and programme with entirely new friends. I'm the only one who's going to take SAM amongst alll our friends besides Yee Ming. =s And Yee Ming himself is thinking bout going to Sri Hartamas's campus instead of Subang's. Everyone else is taking A Levels, or IB, or ADP. I can't help thinking that wow, there won't be :

• another ah ma Mel
• another mulut inappropriate Kye Li
• another catphobic Aly
• another KIASU-TO-HELL Julia
• another versatile Afzan
• another horny Yin
• another dramaqueen that is Dharr
• another paranoid Kim
• another Joshua I can always count on :(
• another Lyra to give me neverending words of encouragement
• and the list goes on and on... [don't get offended if i didn't list your name here, the list would be just way too long :) ]

I'm gonna miss you guys like @#$%ing hell.
And it's not even funny anymore.

Today at dinner, Mum, Dad, Grandma, Grandpa and I sat back and reminisced bout the past when I was young. About how I used to do maths calculations and make silly motions with my fingers. Like when it came to say, 14 - 8 = ?, I would say to myself "okay, ten put in my head" and glue my fist to my forehead to depict the action of putting the 10 in 14 in my head before subtracting the 8 off using my fingers. They said I was very smart, even as a baby. I told Grandma bout how I remember she hit me when I watched too many video tapes in one go causing the tape player to heat up. She laughed, patted my arm, gave me that warm smile of hers and said, "Well, look at you now. You're all grown up and such an obedient girl."

I dunno why, but I love my grandma now more than ever.

Check out Ji-Eun, btw. She just gets more and more adorable each time I see her. She calls me Jie Jie now. =3

Right now, I really wish I was still as young as her. Unknowing of everything around her and unknowing of what a dark place the world is now. Because the truth is, growing up is terrifying.


Why, even after nearly two years now, can you still appear in my dreams at night and haunt me?